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Ask the Register: could I have been a sponsor?
24 January 2020
Q. I was asked to be a baptism sponsor. I was told I needed a letter of recommendation from my pastor. My pastor would not give me a favorable recommendation because he said that I never attend Mass. To say the least, that caused hard feelings between my family and that priest. Are letters of recommendation something that are required in every Catholic parish?
A. A very good question. Thank you for asking it. I hope that somehow that your situation was favorably resolved.
I truly enjoy celebrating Baptism. It is a time of new life—human and sacramental; it is a time for family gatherings, of initiation into God’s life. Baptisms are a lot of fun. I get to meet people from all across Nebraska and around the United States while celebrating Baptisms.
The Code of Canon Law—which governs most aspects of Catholic Church life—spells out what the Church asks the families and sponsors in the Sacrament of Baptism, Canons numbers 849-878.
Canons regarding sponsors:
Can. 872: In the case of an infant baptism, the role of sponsor is, together with the parents, to present the child for Baptism and to help him/her live a Christian life befitting the baptized and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in Baptism.
Can. 873: One sponsor, male or female, is sufficient, but there may be two, one of each sex.
Can. 874 §1: To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:
1° be appointed by the candidate for Baptism, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, or failing these, by the parish priest or the minister; to be appointed, the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it;
2° be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made;
3° be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;
4° not labor under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;
5° not be either the father or the mother of the person to be baptized.
§2 A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a Catholic sponsor and then simply as a witness to the Baptism.
Godparents or sponsors for Catholic Baptism are similar to sponsors for Confirmation. However, they take on a different role since usually only children have Godparents for Baptism. Their role is to take over, if necessary, or assist in the faith development of the person being baptized. This is especially important in the event that the parents cannot or do not adequately raise their children in the faith. Godparents can also be helpful through their prayers and example, even if the child’s parents fulfill their own promise to raise the child in the faith. Therefore, the faith of the Godparents is important in fulfilling the baptismal promise of being raised in the Catholic faith.
The Church very clearly lays out her expectations that there should be a reasonable chance that a child being baptized will be raised as a Catholic and that the sponsors or godparents should be worthy examples of Catholic life to walk that journey of faith with the one to be baptized.
Being a sponsor is not something one does just on the day of Baptism. I challenge Baptism sponsors to: pray for that child every day of his or her life, be a good example of Catholic life to them, and intervene gently if they ever stray from the faith. To be a Baptism sponsor, the Church says: to be appointed, the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it.
As a pastor, one of the biggest challenges is when someone asks for a letter of recommendation and that person is not going to Mass or is not involved in the life of the Church at all. Regular Sunday Mass attendance is pretty foundational to one’s Catholic identity. If I do not know the person or do not see them at Mass, I will ask to visit with them in person and tell them of my concerns. This is not easy. Sometimes people will wait until the last minute in asking for a letter of recommendation. I try to have an honest and open discussion with the requested sponsor and try to find common ground that will allow them to be sponsors and that will allow me to sign a letter of recommendation for them. If I have enough time, I will ask the intended sponsor if they would be willing to attend Mass every Sunday until the Baptism, hoping that we can establish a relationship and develop a pattern of Mass attendance that will be long-lasting.
The last thing I want is for such an encounter or exchange to become adversarial or counterproductive for the person who may be searching in their faith. Ultimately, it’s up to the judgment of every individual priest. I don’t know what other dioceses in United States ask for in terms of letters of recommendation but as a pastor, I believe it is a good practice not simply to follow the law but to try to assist people in becoming missionary disciples of Jesus our Lord. Please do not be angry at that priest. He is simply trying to be a good pastor to you.
Thank you for asking a question that touches the foundations of our belief.
This question was answered by a priest of the Diocese of Lincoln. Write to Ask the Register using our online form, or write to 3700 Sheridan Blvd., Suite 10, Lincoln NE 68506-6100. All questions are subject to editing. Editors decide which questions to publish. Personal questions cannot be answered. People with such questions are urged to take them to their nearest Catholic priest.